


For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry

by fueledbyphil



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Actually a lot of angst, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety, Band Fic, Depression, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Regional At Best Era, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Suicidal Thoughts, like unbelievably slow, no one dies, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-05-28 09:05:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19390927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fueledbyphil/pseuds/fueledbyphil
Summary: Slow burn Soulmate AUThings seem like they can't get any worse when Tyler starts to see colour during one of his shows and can't figure out who his soulmate is. When Nick and Chris leave the band 4 days before a show, Tyler thinks he might die.That's when he meets Josh.





	1. Seeing

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever, hope it goes well.
> 
> Sorry for any misspelled words or inconsistencies, after reading it over for the 8th time I thought I was going to pull my hair out

The bright lights were dizzying as Tyler stared out into the small crowd of people. His band was playing a show at a small venue that night, almost two hundred people were attending. It was one of their biggest shows ever and he and his band were on cloud nine and giving it everything they had. The energy the crowd gave off was intoxicating. All the sweaty bodies cramped together as they swayed to the music made Tyler feel alive. With a furiously beating heart, he glanced back down at the keys of his piano, his fingers sweaty and shaking with nerves as he began to play the next song.

He threw a quick glance at the crowd, trying to see how they were reacting to a slower song. Tyler’s fingers stuttered on the keys of his piano as colour flooded into the room. The bright lights of the stage grew warmer both in temperature and visually, the faces of the crowd became more alive, and as Tyler looked down at his hands his mind became fuzzy. He was feeling halfway from being alive and ecstatic over the colours and completely disassociating from seeing himself in a new way. He looked back out towards the crowd, desperately searching for the pair of eyes that forever changed him. 

The set of eyes reminded him of wet tree bark. Both dark and inviting, carefree but guarded. They were beautiful. It was unimaginably difficult to perform a song and search for your soulmate. Tyler forced his fingers to continue on as he moved his eyes from face to face, inspecting each pair of eyes in the room but luck wasn’t on his side today. By the end of the last song he was feeling hopeless and distraught. He fought to keep it a secret, not ready for any questions his band mates might have.

"We'll be sticking around the merch booth for a little bit once we've cleaned up," Tyler announced with a silent prayer that tree bark eyes would be there

They weren’t

After an hour and a half, Tyler was forced to admit that they weren’t going to show. Every ounce of his being tingled with despair. He knew that as soon as he left the venue, it would be a thousand times harder to find them. The promise of knowing who your soulmate was the second you made eye contact was ruined by a split second of obliviousness. There would be no sudden onset of colour to tip him off that he met his match. All he had to rely on was the memory of wet tree bark eyes.

"Hey man, you okay?" Chris' voice tore Tyler away from his thoughts.

"Oh, yeah, totally dude. Just tired," Tyler laughed it off. "What a show hey?"

*

By the time Chris dropped Tyler back off at home it was nearing midnight. The sky was dark, just a little richer than it was before when his world was filled with black and grey. He found little comfort in the stars being a little warmer, happier than they used to be.

Tyler sighed as he looked out his bedroom window, feeling the cool, peeling paint underneath his fingertips as he leaned against the windowpane. The night has always been rough to him, leaving him feeling like he's running out of time and overwhelmed with loneliness. This night was especially hard.

He stumbled towards his bed. He hadn't bothered to turn on the light, just shuffled in and took off his shoes. 

Laying down now, he shoved a pillow over his face, preparing for night he was about to endure. There were no words to describe how lost he felt. Grief filled his bones, turning them into an aching mess as tears welled up in his eyes. A sob escaped his lips as he replayed the moment over and over in his head. Fear overwhelmed him. He was terrified that he would never find his soulmate again and his stomach turned as he realized it was a man's eyes that were causing him so much misery. Tyler never considered the possibility of his soulmate being a man and while it made him nervous, he couldn't imagine being with anyone else now. He shuddered to think what his parents would do if they were to find out. The idea of homosexuality has never been discussed between them but with his parents being old school Catholics, Tyler knew they wouldn't be too fond of the situation. If the situation were to become a reality. For now he was more than okay with them being in the dark.

Tyler wasn't sure how much time had passed but slowly his breathing evened out and his eyes dried. Lowering his pillow from over his eyes, he stared at the ceiling, the stray beams of moon and street light coming through his window and lighting up the floor of his room. Tyler sat up, back against his headboard and turned on his lamp. This was the first time he really got to see his room. He hated it. His walls and ceiling matched in a boring white colour. While Tyler knew it wasn't going to be anything fancy, he hoped that it would at least be a pale shade of something. Randomly placed posters and art was hung in his room in a disorganized fashion and his floor was littered with loose clothing and paper from discarded songs he was working on. He vowed to fix his room up in the upcoming days. 

Tyler leaned down to grab his laptop, groaning in the process. The start up was slow and the screen was too bright, rudely shining the time in his face. 2 am. Not bad. 

As soon as his web browser booted, he quickly typed in his predicament. Found soulmate in a crowd, lost them. Stories about soulmate death and meeting in crowded places appeared. He tried again. Don't know who soulmate is. Results about people who still haven't found their match and are getting desperate. Seeing colours but don't know who soulmate is. Bingo.

'Wasn't wearing my glasses one day and accidentally looked someone in the eye, now i'm seeing colours' the forum continued on to say that because they didn't actually get to see the other person and it was just their eyes connecting, they felt uncertain if the person they are with is their real soulmate. The poster got some backlash from people who think the poster is selfish and ungrateful while a few of the other comments talked about how they also make accidental eye contact with their glasses off. Tyler thought it was an interesting case but nothing to help his situation.

The next link was to another forum on the same site. 'I don't know how but I'm suddenly seeing colours and I don't know who my soulmate is'. The commentators came to an agreement that it could be two things. Either she did make eye contact with her soulmate while she was downtown and her other half either didn't notice right away, was too scared to come say anything, or just didn't care. The other option was Premature Soulmate Death. Premature Soulmate Death happens when your soulmate dies before the two of you can meet and as a way of your body letting you know what's going on, you see colour for usually a couple weeks to a month. This can sometimes get confusing as it leads many people to believe they've met their match unknowingly and they carry on for the next few weeks searching for their loved one until the colours stop suddenly one day. The thought of this outcome made Tyler pause. It scared him to the bone. He knew that this was a major possibility but there was no way he was going to be able to accept it. His stomach churned just at the thought. Deciding he had enough of investigating for one day, he opened up a new tab spent the rest of the night learning the names of colours.

Tyler woke up to soft sunlight coming through his bedroom window, which he noted to be yellow. Last night he had discovered that another word for wet tree bark is dark brown. His floor was brown but more of a light brown. 

Tyler groaned and rolled over, annoyed by the intrusion of light. He grabbed his phone and checked the time. 2 PM. Ugh. Rubbing his eyes, he let out a whine and sat up. He needed a shower, the dirt and grime still stuck to his skin from last night.

After grabbing everything he needed, he began to make his way down to the bathroom, trying to be as quiet as possible. He was not in the mood to be talking to anyone. 

"Tyler," His Mom called out from downstairs. "Is that you?"

Mission failed. Tyler let out a sigh.

"Yeah," He called back.

"Come down here!"

Tyler cringed. This could mean two things. Either she wants to bond with him and make sure he's okay after staying in his room until the early afternoon or, tell him off for sleeping until 2.

"Okay, just let me shower first please!" 

He left no room for argument as he slipped into the bathroom and locked the door. The first thing he noticed as he set his belonging down, was how charmingly ugly their bathroom was. The tiles on the floor were a pastel salmon colour and the walls were a baby blue. The carefully placed potted plants really added an unneeded splash of colour. While he could see why he parents always said they needed to renovate their bathroom, he loved it anyways. 

After he turned on the shower to let it warm up, he turned around and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Shock electrified his body and he swiveled back around. He hadn’t even thought of taking a look at himself in the mirror. His hand jumped to his brown hair and twisted it in between his fingers, marveling at the different shades it held. His hand slipped down onto his face next and peeled his eye open, also brown, he noted but with little flecks green and gold as sunlight shone in through the window and landed by his eye. His skin was a mixture between yellow and pink, not exactly pale but not tan either. Tyler took off his shirt to examine his body more closely. His fingers traced a long, white scar on his hip from when he fell while learning how to ride a bike.

Tyler let his hands dropped to his sides, giving himself one last once over before stripping himself completely and getting in the shower.

He spent more time than he probably needed but after washing away all the grime and old sweat from last night's show his muscles sang from the hot water beating on them. Tyler tilted his head back to let the water quickly run over his hair and face. His mind was going a hundred miles an hour. Thoughts of last night kept invading as last night played on a loop in his head. He couldn't understand why they didn't come up after the show. Maybe they were scared and nerves got in the way, maybe he was one of the people who just didn't want a soulmate, or maybe, Tyler hated to think this, maybe the pair of eyes was his body's way of coping with a soulmate death. He shuddered a sigh out and turned to shut the water off.

If he was being completely honest, he never expected to be this heartbroken over something like this. Sure, he's always been a little excited to meet them but it wasn't his priority. He always figured that he'd meet them one day while grocery shopping or something and they'd take it from there. A possibility like this never came across his thoughts and he really wasn't prepared for it.

His phone buzzed from the counter as he was drying himself off.

'We still on for practice tonight?' Nick sent. 

They had a show on Friday at their biggest venue yet. The place held could hold around five-hundred people and according to the staff, about four-hundred tickets sold. To say Tyler was nervous was an understatement. They needed all the practice they could get.

As soon as Tyler was dressed he replied, 'yeah dude, see you at 6'.

He checked the time, three o'clock. Tyler knew he couldn’t put off talking to his mom any longer so with a sigh and a silent prayer, he left the bathroom and walked to the living room.

Kelly was on the couch reading a book with a mountain on the cover. As Tyler’s socked feet padded into the room she looked up and set the novel down on the side table, “Good afternoon, sleepy.”

Tyler gave her a half smile, “Yeah, sorry about that.” He said, running his hands through his hair and taking a seat on the chair beside her.

“Have you been sleeping well? You know, chamomile tea helps me when I can’t sleep,” She said as she leaned forward to look at him better.

Kelly wasn’t aware of Tyler’s band and Tyler planned to keep it like that for as long as possible. For her to know how he was really feeling and coping would be too much. While he knows that his mom wants what’s best for him, he wasn’t ready for her to know the ins of his mind. To know how dark of a place he finds himself in. If Kelly were to find out, Tyler was sure she’d send him straight to a therapist. 

“Oh yeah Mom, I’m find. Just stay up too late, s’all,” Tyler told her. “Honestly you don’t have to worry. If anything is wrong, I’ll tell you.”

She gave him a loving smile, “I sure hope you do, I care about you Tyler.”

“I know you do, Mom.”

“That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about though,” She continued and Tyler’s brow furrowed, confused. Usually she just texts him if something is happening, they don’t really sit down and chat about life.

“What’s going on?”

“On Wednesday your Aunt Theresa is coming to visit,” Tyler visibly groaned and fell back into the chair.

His Aunt Theresa was the biggest piece of shit Tyler has ever met. Nothing he did was ever good enough for her. She didn’t approve of anyone in Tyler’s family, the fact that his Mom and Dad worked in a school made her laugh. In her mind, if you were an adult and didn’t make a hundred thousand a year, you failed at life. The closest he has ever made her happy was with his basketball scholarship he achieved. No one told her that he declined it and Tyler had a feeling that as soon as the cats out of the bag she’ll be even ruder than before. 

“Now,” His mom went on. “I know you don’t like her very much-”

“You can say that again,” Tyler interrupted lowly and Kelly gave him a glowering look but didn’t say anything.

“So, I was thinking of letting you do your own thing and we can tell her that you’re working or something,” She concluded and Tyler felt like he could soar.

“Oh my goodness, really, Mom?” He asked, excitement filling his being.

“Of course, Tyler. I know how much you two don’t get along. The only thing I do want from you though is to at least say hi to her at some point. I don’t think I’d ever hear the end of it if you were completely absent while she’s here.”

“Absolutely, Mom. When is she here until?”

“Thursday. You can stay at some friends for the night if you want,” She said

“That would be amazing, Mom. Thank you!” Their talk was going much better than Tyler imagined it to. While they loved each other, Kelly and Tyler weren’t always completely friendly towards one another. Tyler knew that she worried a lot and wanted him to set good examples for his siblings but there was only so much Tyler was capable of.

“I just feel like you’ve been a little down lately. I don’t want her visit to make things worse,” Kelly explained and laid a hand over Tyler’s.

“I told you mom, I just haven’t been sleeping well. Honestly, I’m okay. Promise,” It wasn’t a total lie, Tyler was having a harder time sleeping then usual but he also has been more depressed. He knew that it wasn’t really a proper medical thing but Tyler seemed to get more sad during the warmer months. Almost like reverse seasonal depression. He figured it was just from the heat and dry air. During winter the cold would bite at his skin and the snow would make his socks wet. It reminded him of being alive. The heat of the sun just made him sluggish and lazy.

She smiled at him, “Anyways, what are your plans for today?” She asked, changing the subject.

“Oh, I’m just meeting Nick and Chris. Gonna play some video games and stuff. Should be back around ten,” He said, forcing himself to look her in the eye. For lack of better words, lying to her sucked. 

“I’ll be waiting,” She told him, picking up her book again.

Tyler’s mood instantly declined to annoyance, “Mom, I’m twenty two you don’t need to wait up for me anymore.”

“You’re still my kid. I can’t sleep well without knowing how you are. By the way, I thought you were going to stay at Chris’s last night?” She pointed out, flipping her to bookmark.

“Change of plans, felt like staying in my bed instead of his couch,” He was only half fibbing. Tyler felt too depressed about his lost soulmate last night to stay somewhere where he couldn’t be vulnerable.

“Ah, I see. You’re finally growing out of the sleepover stage,” She smiled teasingly.

“Yeah, Mom. That’s exactly it,” He retorted sarcastically.

*  
It was four-thirty by the time Tyler left the house. Chris had texted him earlier asking him to pick up drumsticks before he came over so that’s where Tyler found himself, carrying a bag from Bluegrass Musicians Supply when he felt someone punch his shoulder.

The first thing he noticed when he spun around was the absolutely breathtaking man beside his friend Mark.

The beautiful guy was wearing all black with a t-shirt and ripped jeans in the knee. He had his ears stretched with silver tunnels in and sunglasses rested on the bridge of his nose. Dark brown hair sat messily in a mohawk on his head. He was the epitome of cool and attractive. 

“Hey, Ty!” Mark’s voice dragged him out from his thoughts. 

Tyler’s head swiveled around to look at him, “Hey, Mark. What are you guys doing here?”

“Josh here,” Mark motioned to the beautiful guy. “Wanted to show me this donut shop that’s around here. Apparently they have really good coffee.”

“Oh it’s better than really good, dude. I’m Josh by the way,” Josh said and shook his head. “Though you already knew that from Mark.”

“I’m Tyler,” He laughed and stuck out his hand for a handshake.

His hands began to tingle as soon as Josh's met his. 

"Nice to meet you, Tyler," Josh spoke and the tingles in Tyler's hands moved up his arms and into his chest and scalp. His voice was lovely, soft and welcoming. Tyler felt like any worries he had vanished when he spoke, leaving him feeling totally safe and carefree.

"Same dude," He replied, trying to play cool and like he wasn't falling in love just by his voice. 

"Did you want to join us on our coffee adventure?" Mark interrupted his inner dilemma, motioning to Buckeye Donuts across the street.

Boy did Tyler want to, but he was already running late for practice.

"Sorry man, I got plans but maybe next time" He said, frowning a little.

"Ahh, that's too bad. See you later dude, text me!" 

"For sure, see you!" Tyler said, waving at them as he began to walk away. His heart clenched when Josh waved back.

*

"What do you mean you're quitting the band!?" Tyler exclaimed, hands shaking and heart beating hard. 

He sat in Nick's basement behind his keyboard. It was jam day, they were supposed to be practicing for their upcoming gig.

"Sorry man, it's just this band has made me so behind in life. I want to focus more on school and work and Chris here just can't afford it anymore," Nick explained.

"We'll miss it a lot, Tyler. Please, no hard feelings," Chris chimed in, his face filled with genuine concern.

Tyler stayed silent for a long pause, unable to comprehend what was happening. He's put his whole life into this band and to have it snatched away from him with only a few short words was insane. He knew there was nothing he could do though, if they wanted to leave then they would leave. 

“But what about the gig on Friday? What am I supposed to do?" Tyler asked, rubbing his hands over his face in an attempt to calm down. He wasn't sure how anything was going to work anymore. If he should even continue trying to work this band. His heart was beating a hundred miles per hour and his head ached.

"I don't know man, you might have to cancel," Nick told him, scratching his head awkwardly. 

Tyler sighed and stayed silent for a moment before standing up abruptly.

"No, that isn't going to work. I'll just have to find a replacement," He started to put his jacket on. "Sorry guys but I have to go, lots of work to get done," He explained, not actually sorry. Tyler was a mixture of furious and heartbroken. How could they just dump this on him four days before a show? His dream of being a musician seemed far in the first place but now it seemed impossible. How was he going to find people as talented as Nick and Chris? 

“Wait, Tyler,” Chris put his hand on Tyler’s arm and turned him back around.

“No hard feelings,” Tyler said with a nod and a painful smile. He made it up the stairs in record time, fighting the urge to skip steps.

Once outside and in his car, he moved to turn his radio on but there was nothing there. Wires splayed out of the gaping hole where his radio used to be creating an ugly void of nothing. Tyler played with the wires in between his fingers for a few seconds before letting out an ugly sob. Could this day get any worse? The one thing that was always there to calm him when he needed it most was missing and now he needed it more than ever. Music was the only thing that really got him, where he felt completely safe and understood. Where he could feel vulnerable and be okay with it.

“Fuck!” Tyler punched his steering wheel in a outburst of rage before taking a deep breath and wiping his eyes on his jacket sleeve. He grabbed his phone again and brought up Mark’s contact info, his shaking thumb hovering over the call button. He thought of what he could say to him but nothing came to mind. He tossed his phone to the passenger seat and put his car into drive.

Tyler barely noticed he was speeding, let alone still crying until he was on the freeway. The sky was completely black, stars covered by light pollution. He felt completely defeated and depressed. He didn’t know what was going to happen next. The thought of failing as a musician made him white knuckle the steering wheel and press his foot down harder. The idea of him working an office job made him feel physically sick and distraught. Was there anyway out of the impending doom of being a total average adult?

His mind brought up a solution that Tyler was always fighting against. It would be so easy to jerk the wheel and crash into the concrete divider of the freeway. The thought of death always brought him a terrifying peace. Today was no different. He glanced down at his speedometer, mildly surprised when its reading showed he was going ninety but he made no attempt to slow. Without the music to distract him from his thoughts his impulsiveness took over and his body sought after an adrenaline rush. While his mind wanted to die, his instincts forced him to feel something. 

His body was on autopilot, Tyler wasn't paying attention to where he was going as the dark thoughts began to overwhelm him. Eventually he parked on the side of a familiar road.

He fumbled around in his glove compartment, searching for his notebook. With quivering fingers, he poured his soul onto the sheet of paper, pressing hard and ripping the page in some spots. The words were messy and smudged as he furiously wrote, needing to capture how he was feeling before it was too late. In the back of his mind, writing a song just after losing your band seemed incredibly useless, but to Tyler he knew that this was his best coping mechanism. Writing was his way out, he could completely let loose and say everything he needed without ending up in a psych ward. He finished the song in record time. With a once over, he knew he’d need to tighten up some lyrics but for now it worked. His chest felt a little lighter as he put the notebook back in its place.

His body acted on its own accord as it reached for his phone and had it to his ear in seconds, ringing.


	2. Talking

"Hello?" Mark answered after a few rings, the Super Smash Bros theme song playing in the background.

"Mark?" Tyler's rough, grief stricken voice startled them both.

"Tyler, dude, what's going on?" The Super Smash Bros theme quieted as Mark presumably left the room.

"I'm outside your house, can I come in?" Tyler asked, pulling at a loose thread on his jeans. "I just… I just need to be with someone," He hung his head at how small he sounded.

"Oh yeah, for sure man! I'll be right up. I was just hanging out with Josh. M'sure he won't mind if I ask him to leave though. He's cool like that," Tyler's heart jumped at the thought of seeing Josh again but stopped dead as he remembered that he was a complete mess right now. He couldn't have Josh see him like this, but there was no way he was going to ask Mark to kick him out.

"Oh it's fine if Josh is there, he seems like a cool dude," Tyler scratched his scalp before turning off the engine and opening his door. 

“Okay sick, he is man. I'll be up in a second. See you soon, Ty." 

Tyler wondered where he'd be without Mark. He was always ready to help when needed and never expected anything in return. The amount of time he'd been there to help Tyler was uncountable.

Tyler found himself waiting outside Mark's front door, closing counting each crack of paint on the door frame as he waited for Mark to let him inside. The cool air of the night barely noticeable even with goosebumps forming on his skin. He let in a deep breath, relishing in the sweet smell of fresh air and the sound of leaves rustling in the wind. His eyes slipped closed as he embraced the calming effect of nature. Tyler's muscles relaxed and his breathing evened out as he waited patiently. A stray cat meowed in the distance.

Light from the front entrance interrupted Tyler's moment of calmness as Mark opened the door. Tyler snapped his eyes open to find Mark in his batman pajamas and holding a slice of pizza in his left hand.

"Hey dude, come on in!" Mark said, shoving the piece of pizza into Tyler's hand as soon as he made it over the threshold. "We're just playing some video games downstairs. You wanna join in?" 

"Yeah man, that would be awesome!"

As the made it down they stairs, Tyler was hurrying to make himself look the most presentable he could. There was nothing he could do about his pale appearance and bloodshot eyes but at least his hair was a little neater and he stopped crying. 

The basement was dim, lit by the main screen of Super Smash Bros. A coffee table sat in front of the TV, filled with half eaten snacks and pizza. The couches were covered in blankets and pillows, the couch farthest to away from the stairs held Josh as he played on his phone. 

Tyler's heart skipped a beat when his eyes landed on Josh. His brown, curly hair was a mess, presumably from the fatigue. The bags under his eyes confirmed it. Tyler didn't get a good look at his eyes until Josh snapped his head up at the sound of the two approaching boys.

Tyler felt like he just died and came to life all at once. His eyes, identical to wet tree bark. He could get lost in them and never want to come out. He felt safe and happy, relaxed and carefree. Could Josh be his soulmate? Tyler's heart faltered a little bit when Josh didn't seem to be having a moment with him. Instead, he looked at Tyler with concern written across his face. Confusion washed over Tyler, why would Josh be concerned? How could anything be wrong right now? He glanced over at Mark and noticed he also seemed worried. His mind snapped to memories of only an hour earlier. Oh, right. The band. 

"Hey," Josh said with a wave of his hand and a half smile on his face.

Tyler nodded back and did a shitty job returning the grin, "Hey."

Mark led him over to the couch and sat down, "What do you feel like playing, Ty? I got Smash Bros, Guitar Hero, Mario Kart, Mortal Kombat-"

"Mario Kart," Tyler interrupted. "Please."

"Nice choice dude!" Josh's laugh sent chills up Tyler's spine.

"You say that now but wait until Tyler crushes you," Mark said through a mouthful of pizza while getting up to put the game in. "Best Mario Kart-er I know."

If Tyler wasn't full of gratitude towards Mark before, he sure was now as he hyped up Tyler to a man he was definitely not in love with. 

"Don't worry man, I'll go easy on you," Tyler teased before shoving his mouth full with the pizza Mark gave him.

Josh's eyebrows rose in surprise as he witnessed Tyler's mood change in a heartbeat, "You better not! I like a challenge."

"Oh you'll get one," Mark promised. "I've never fairly beaten him!"

"Oh you're so on!" Josh told Tyler with a gleam in his eyes.

That gleam extinguished after losing three times in a row 

“Dude… How?” Josh asked him, completely exasperated. 

“I got skills man,” Tyler said smugly with a grin on his face. He still wasn’t quite sure what made his body drag him over here but he was glad it did. Tyler wasn’t sure what he would have done if he was alone. He shuddered to think about it.

“You should see Tyler sing! Or play the piano, or ukulele, or anything really,” Mark said, clapping a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. 

“I saw him yesterday night!” Josh told him. “You guys were amazing by the way. Really captivated me and my sister. I’ve never seen a band that was so connected with their music, ya know?”

As Josh spoke, Tyler was having a bit of a breakdown. Josh was there last night. Josh, with identical wet tree bark eyes as the one he had seen, saw him play. Josh, who said he was good at what he does and got captivated by his band. Well, his former band.

“Thanks, that means a lot! We really try to put our all into our music and shows and I’m glad you got that.”

“When your next one? I’d love to be there again!” Josh said with immense excitement and it killed Tyler to let him down.

“Oh, actually, I’m not sure if there will be a next one.” Tyler said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

Mark choked on his pizza, “What? What do you mean? You said you were gonna give your all to this band! What happened?” He sputtered out in complete disbelief.

“I uh,” Tyler started, unsure of how to answer his friend without sounding completely devastated. "We broke up."

"What?" Josh's sharp, shocked voice startled him. "What do you mean? You guys rocked!"

"Yeah, Ty? What happened?" Mark asked, his voice still horrified.

Tyler sighed and looked to the floor, "I went over to Nick's house today for practice because we had a show booked for Friday, right? And Nick and Chris broke the news that they couldn't be in the band anymore because they had to focus on life or something." 

Tyler felt sick just admitting it. They had worked so hard and gotten way farther than they ever imagined they would and it was gone in just one night. 

"I, wow dude. That blows," Mark told him lamely. "Are you okay?” 

“I mean, I’m not great but I could be worse, ya know?” 

“Are you gonna try and find someone else to play with?" Mark asked.

"Who am I gonna find that can play like them, Mark? Man even if I just had a drummer I could probably make it work." Tyler said with an edge to his voice as he fell back against the couch seats.

"I play the drums," Tyler's head snapped over to Josh. "I might not be what you're looking for but I can help if you want." Josh suggested nonchalantly, taking another slice of pizza.

"Are you any good?" Tyler cringed as the words came out of his mouth without consent.

"Oh dude, he's the best out there!" Mark exclaimed. "And I'm not just saying that because he's in the room with us."

Josh smiled at him with a mouthful of pizza, "Thanks, Mark!"

"Anytime, dude."

"Do you wanna practice sometime? I know this is super short notice but do you want to play that show with me on Friday?" Tyler knew it was a long shot, asking someone to learn a whole setlist of songs in just a few days but he was desperate.

"Yeah man, that would be sick! When are you free?" Josh asked and Tyler could tell he was genuinely excited.

"Really anytime, I got the next few days off of work." 

"Okay awesome, I'll start practicing tonight. Do you wanna meet on Wednesday and Thursday so we can get everything down?" 

Tyler was surprised at how fast Josh thought he could get the songs practiced enough to perform, but if Josh was confident, so was Tyler.

"Yeah that works for me! Can I have your number so I can send you the setlist? Do you need a CD or something?"

"Yeah sure, give me your phone," Josh said, holding out his hand. "And I already have a CD so we should be good there."

He handed Tyler his phone back and stood up, "Okay, I got lots to do so I gotta run but I'll see you on Wednesday Tyler and I'll see you probably at like 3AM in the kitchen Mark. Adios!"

Tyler gave Mark a weird look as Josh climbed the stairs.

"He's my new roommate," Mark read his mind. "We've caught each other eating cereal in the middle of the night too many times. Became our sort of midnight hang out."

"Ah, make sense," Tyler checked his phone, seeing Josh put his name as 'Josh Dun' with the drumset emoji beside his name.

"I should probably go too, Mom probably waiting up for me," Tyler said, noting the time. "Do you need help cleaning up?"

"Should be okay, but thanks dude," Mark hesitated. "Hey before you leave. I gotta talk to you."

"Oh yeah for sure man," Tyler straightened up in his seat, "What's up?

"Well first off, are you actually okay? You just seem a little off with showing up to my house and the whole band thing…" Mark trailed off, picking at his jeans and creating a loose thread.

"I had a bad day, Mark. But there's nothing to worry about now, especially because Josh is gonna help out with the band. Can you tell him thanks for me? I don't think I did."

"Okay, well, just know I got you, okay? If you ever need anything hit me up," Mark told him almost sternly.

Tyler chuckled, "I will, Mark, don't worry. You're always the first person I tell stuff to."

"I better be! We've been best friends for as long as I can remember!" Mark laughed before going somber again and blushing profusely, "Another thing… Tyler, oh boy please don't get offended, I uh, hmm… do you like Josh?"

Ice water ran down Tyler's spine. Was it that obvious? 

"What? No! I'm not gay Mark! I just think he's cool, that's all." Tyler's face now also supporting a deep blush.

Mark's shoulders visibly relaxed, "Okay, good to know. Sorry, it's just, Josh started seeing colours yesterday but he doesn't know if he just missed his soulmate or if they died but he's pretty choked up about it and I just don’t want anyone trying to come on to him with what's happening right now." 

Tyler's mind was screaming. Everything about Josh was telling him that they were a match but there's no way to prove it and when Tyler came down the stairs and looked him in the eye, Josh didn't seem too excited about his eyes. Tyler was sure if he was Josh's soulmate Josh would have recognized his eyes too. 

"Don't worry about it, I get it. Must be pretty hard to go through something like that," Tyler said, trying his best to sound like he wasn't going through the exact same thing. "Is that everything?"

"I think so, I'll text you later, okay?" 

"Okay, sounds good dude," Tyler stood up and made his way over to the stairs. "I'll see you Wednesday, yeah?"

"Probably, they might need me at work but I don't know yet. Text me when you get home?" Mark asked as he began to pick up trash from the coffee table.

"If I remember! Goodnight, dude!"

The drive back to his house was boring but at least he wasn't on the brink of suicide, Tyler thought and by the time he was back home he was feeling pretty good. He was too lost in thought to be concerned about his Mom waiting up for him, he couldn’t get his mind away from his and Josh’s practice on Wednesday. Just the thought of it left him jittery.

“Tyler!” 

Tyler cringed as his Mom’s shrill voice yelled at him. He turned around slowly, ready to get her wrath over with.

“Hey, Mom,” Tyler rubbed his arms in an attempt to make himself seem smaller.

“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for ages! You said you’d be home by 10! You had me worried sick, not even a text to say you’d be late? How could you be so irresponsible?” His Mom exploded, hands on her hips and standing tall.

A frown made its way across Tyler’s face, his good mood instantly ruined, “Sorry Mom, time just got away from me. Plus it’s only 10:30, I’m not even that late.”

“A lot can happen in half an hour, Tyler!” 

“Oh my God, Mom!” Tyler retorted, exasperated. “Look, I’m sorry, there’s not a lot I can do right now. What’s done is done and besides, I’m 22, not 16. It’s ridiculous that I still have a curfew!”

“Excuse me?” Kelly shot back in disbelief. “How dare you use the Lord’s name in vain? How dare you speak to me like that? I care about your welfare and as long as you're living under my roof I need to know where you are!”

Tyler exhaled sharply and clasped his hands together. He was not in the mood to be having a fight. His body craved to be upstairs and lying in bed, “Okay, listen, Mom, I’m sorry, alright? It won’t happen again. How can I fix this?”

Kelly pursed her lips together and took a deep breath, considering her next words, “You’re right. What’s done is done. But there are going to be consequences. I’ll let you know about them tomorrow morning. But now you can go to bed.”

Tyler nodded, “Okay, goodnight, Mom.”

“I love you,” Kelly said as Tyler turned back around to the stairs.

“Love you too,” He responded, a little annoyed that she can be yelling at him one second and then trying to be nice the next.

As soon as he got into his room he flopped down on his bed and opened his phone.

‘My mom makes me want to kms i swear to god’ He sent to Mark and rubbed his hands over his eyes, throwing his phone to the side.

He loved his Mom, but sometimes Kelly was a just a bit much. Tyler didn’t understand why it was so important to her to know where he was every second of the day. He was twenty two, he didn’t need a babysitter anymore.

His phone buzzed as he received a text back, ‘? who is this??’. 

Fire instantly erupted in his cheeks as he read the name of the sender. Josh Dun. Fuck. Tyler grabbed a pillow and shoved it over his face in an attempted to suffocate himself. He assumed that Mark’s contact was still open on his phone from when he phoned him earlier, completely forgetting that Josh put his number in. His phone buzzed again. Tyler brought his phone up to his face and peaked out from underneath the pillow.

‘Also sorry that must suck. Mom’s can be real terrible sometimes :/’ Josh messaged again.

Even though Tyler was mortified that he had sent that to Josh by mistake, he still smiled at Josh’s attempt to console a person who he thought to be a stranger.

Taking a deep breath, he began to type a message back, ‘Whoops sorry haha, meant to send this to mark! It’s tyler btw :|’ He hoped that his reply came across calm enough to reduce any worry he may have caused Josh. He just met the guy, he didn’t need to overwhelm him with any personal issues he has.

‘It’s chill dude, you okay though?’

‘Yeah, just my mom and i got into a fight when i got home. Nothing crazy though. She’s just overprotective’ Tyler typed back, still peaking from underneath the pillow.

‘You wanna talk about it?’ Josh’s reply came immediately and Tyler’s heart sang. He knew he really shouldn’t be getting too involved with his emotions towards Josh but he made it so hard. How could he not develop feelings when he was so kind and caring?

‘’I don’t want to bother you’ Tyler replied, secretly hoping that Josh wouldn’t mind. Tyler was never great at opening up to new people but there was just something about Josh that made him feel like they’ve been friends for decades.

To his horror, his phone started to vibrate with an incoming call. Tyler fumbled, quickly trying to sit up before Josh was sent to voicemail. 

“Hello?” He answered while subconsciously trying to tidy his hair.

“Hey, Tyler!” Josh’s voice was rough with sleep. Tyler’s stomach dropped. “It’s Josh.”

Yeah no shit, Tyler thought

“Sorry, I guess you already knew that,” Josh laughed. Tyler thought it was cute.

“Oh, thanks. I’m glad that amused you!” 

Tyler’s blood ran cold and a blush ran up from his arms to his neck, “Ah dude, I didn’t mean to say that out loud!”

Tyler could hear Josh let out a low chuckle. His heart squirmed.

“It’s cool, dude! I thought it was cute that you thought I was being cute. If that makes sense.”

This is it, Tyler thought. He’s actually dead. Josh finally did it. 

“Thanks dude, I tried my hardest,” Tyler teased. Where he was getting his confidence from, he wasn’t sure, but he just prayed it didn’t leave.

“So,” Josh said. “What’s going on?”

Tyler sighed and moved back to lie on his bed again, “I live with my parents still right?” He could hear Josh hum to show he was listening. “And she just always expects me to tell her where I am and what I’m doing and to be home at a specific time and it’s just… I just think it’s so dumb because I’m a grown ass adult now. Ya know? Like I feel like I don’t need to be giving her constant updates. And then after we fight she just acts like nothing happened, which just makes me even more angry but how can I get upset at her when she tells me she loves me? And it's not like I don't love her back, I just don't understand how she can be so mean and then just turn around like that." 

Tyler sighed and rubbed his eyes, "Sorry for ranting, I just really needed to get that off my chest."

"Hey it's no issue. I totally get what you're saying. My Mom can be like that too, but you know she just loves you and wants to make sure you're doing okay, right? That's what most Moms want, some of them just have a weird way of showing it."

"Yeah you're probably right. But maybe it's time for me to move out," Tyler said as he stared at the ceiling. He had been contemplating it for quite a while now but today had just really pushed him over the line. Plus, maybe if he did move out it would make his Mom and his relationship stronger if they weren't butting heads all the time.

"Yeah?" Prompted Josh.

"Yeah, I'm twenty two years old. It's probably time."

"Well," Josh said. "I think Mark wants to rent out the third bedroom in the house so that could be an option if you want."

Tyler's insides filled with sunshine. Living in a house with his best friend and Josh would be perfect. There would be no struggle of trying to find a good roommate and the area was quiet and safe. Plus, Tyler could see Josh more often which definitely wasn't one of the main reasons Tyler was excited at the idea of moving in.

"Dude, if Mark is actually looking for someone that would be sick! I would definitely move in if it worked out."

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Josh asked.

"I think maybe I should. Might just be easier that way. Get it straight from the horse's mouth, y'know?" 

"Oh yeah I get it man," Josh said before changing the subject. "I've been practicing by the way! Not to sound cocky but I think we're going to kill it on Friday."

Tyler's ears perked up, "Really? Oh man I cannot thank you enough for helping out with this. I was so anxious about it and I really didn't want to have to cancel. Plus I told Nick and Chris that I wasn't going to because I would be able to find someone and I don't think they believed me."

Josh laughed, "Yeah dude it's no problem, I'm excited! I love to play and your music is one of my favourites. Plus it'll make my sister super jealous that I get to hang out with a local celebrity. Also I'm really glad I could help you prove them wrong. It sucks that they ditched you like that. Real shitty move if you ask me."

"I mean, I wouldn't count myself as a local celebrity but thanks. Your sister should come to the show!" Truth is, Tyler was very interested in meeting Josh's sister. He'd been wondering if maybe it was her eyes he'd seen and he'd also just caught a glimpse of Josh, making his brain confused as to what he actually saw. "Yeah I'm not too impressed with them right now. Wonder if they'll also be there."

"If they come then they have some nerve I'll tell you that."

"I'd be kinda pissed, dude. But at the same time I also want to rub it in their faces that the band is still going strong, ya know? Also what time are we meeting on Wednesday?"

"Oh yeah, I get it. I'm not usually one to keep grudges but I don't even know these guys and they've made a bad impression. And would three work? I get off work at two so that should give me enough time to prepare." Josh replied, yawning.

Tyler yawned back, "I'm sure I'll get over it some day, I did promise them no hard feelings. I just need time. But yeah three works for me."

"You don't have to promise them anything, Ty. They hurt you and yeah while I get friends fight all the time, just remember that no one will blame you if this hurts things." 

"Thanks, Josh. You know, when I first sent you that message I felt mortified that I sent that to you by accident but now I'm glad I did, you've helped a lot." Tyler admitted.

"I got you, man. I know that we just met and all but I think you're super cool and I really don't mind helping you out," Josh told him.

Tyler smiled, "Glad we're on the same page," He yawned. "And same to you, dude. You can talk to me whenever you need."

"Thanks man, I'll keep that in mind," Josh said and sighed. "I should probably let you go, you sound tired. Besides I have to work in the morning and my boss is already getting on my back about getting more sleep."

As much as Tyler really didn't want to go, he knew that Josh was right. He was exhausted and if Tyler slept until 2 again his Mom would not be amused.

"Okay dude, have a goodnight and have a good shift at work tomorrow."

"Thanks man, I don't think it's possible since working at Guitar Center actually sucks but I'll try just for you. Goodnight, Ty."

Tyler laughed, "Good luck, bye, Josh."

"See you later, Ty," Josh hung up.

Tyler brought his phone away from his ear and stared at it for a moment, taking note of the call time. They were on the phone for a little over an hour. It surprised him how easy it was to talk to Josh. If it wasn't for Josh's morning shift he would have been fine talking to him all night.

He got up to get ready for bed, brushing his teeth and stripping. As he laid in the dark attempting to fall asleep, images of Josh's eyes and sounds of his soft laugh filled his mind, letting him drift off to sleep peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Josh Dun
> 
> Thanks for reading! Chapter 3 should be up in about a week or so <3


	3. Fighting

Tyler shoved a pillow over his face in an attempt to drown out Kelly's harsh knocking.

"Tyler?" She said through the door, "Are you awake?"

His body deflated while he let out a whine, "Yeah," His voice muffled and harsh.

He heard the creek of his door opening as she let herself in, "Jeez Tyler, do you ever clean up in here?" 

He brought the pillow away from his face and place it under his head again. Kelly's face was filled with disgust from the state of him room. To Tyler, it wasn't that bad. It's not like he had mounds of dishing hiding in his room. Just some clothes and paper scattered around. He hadn't bothered to fix up his room yet, but it would probably take him twenty minutes tops to clean.

"I've thought about last night," She continued. "I want you to go to the Farmer's Market with your Aunt on Wednesday."

Dread filled in the pit of his stomach, "But you said I didn't have to see her!"

A sour look crossed her face, "You need to learn to think of other people. Your Aunt wants to spend some quality time with you, she was very disappointed when I said you were working. I think she'll be happy to hear that you got the day off."

Tyler exhaled sharply out of his nose and broke eye contact with her. 

He knew it was no use fighting with her, "When do you think she'll want to go?" 

"I'm not sure, the Farmer's Market closes at four. Knowing her she'll want to go early. She gets in at eight, expect to go at nine." She said.

"Okay,"

"Another thing," She went on. "I want this room clean by tomorrow morning."

Tyler took a deep breath and clenched his teeth. He was already planning on it, but her demanding it made him completely detest the thought of doing it.

"Alright,"

She left the room, leaving the door cracked open. Tyler huffed and leaned over to grab a book off his nightstand. He threw it at the door in an attempt to close it, cringing at the bang it made. Tyler listened carefully, unsure if his mom would come back up to yell at him.  
When a minute passed and she didn’t appear, he let himself relax and fall back against his pillow. What a great way to start his day, he thought as he grabbed his phone. It was eleven in the morning. He decided to send Mark a text.

‘Hey what are you doing today?’

He put his phone back on the table, got up and stretched. Looking around his room, he sighed and shoved on a pair of sweats before gathering up loose clothes and dumping them into a hamper. A crumpled piece of paper fell from one of his handfuls of clothes. He opened it lazily. 

‘Go away  
Go away  
Go away  
Go away  
Leave me alone  
Leave me alone  
Leave me alone  
Leave me alone’

The night Tyler wrote this was particularly bad. Him and his Mom got into a pretty nasty fight that left Tyler in tears in his kitchen which is where his brother, Zach, found him. It was late, around one-thirty in the morning and he was hunched over the kitchen sink, looking out into their backyard just staring into the complete darkness of the night. He wasn’t even aware he was crying until Zach came up and handing him a tissue, rubbing his back. They ended up talking for hours, until the sun came up and they heard their dad coming down the stairs for work. If he was being honest, he wasn’t even sure why they were arguing in the first place, but it was bad enough where Tyler was considering running away, maybe offing himself in the process. Tyler shuddered to think where he would be if Zach hadn’t found him that night.

He placed these lyrics in his notebook on his desk. He wasn’t sure why he threw them out in the first place. They weren’t great and there was nothing else to them, but they meant something to him.

The rest of his room took forty-five minutes to clean. By the time he was putting away the vacuum, Mark texted him back.

‘Not much, what’s up?’

‘You hungry?’

Mark's reply was instantaneous, 'of course dude, ill be at your house soon'

It took Mark a total of twenty minutes to get to Tyler's house.

"Hey man," Tyler said as he slid into the passenger seat.

"Hey! Where are we going?"

"McDonald’s, dude,” Tyler scoffed, going through Mark’s CD collection. “Obviously.”

“Oh, yeah,” Mark laughed, putting the car into drive. “Obviously.”

*

"Thought you would be practicing today," Mark said as he grabbed a fry and dipped it into his milkshake.

Tyler swallowed, "I left my keyboard at Nick's house last night. Need to work up the courage to grab it."

"If you need I can come with you," 

"Would you?" Tyler asked, opening his burger up.

"Of course, dude. Remember what I said? I got you," The smile Mark gave him was filled with milkshake but it reassured Tyler nonetheless. 

"Thanks man," 

"Anytime," Mark swallowed. "Hey, nice job of telling me when you got home last night."

Tyler smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck, "Sorry, my Mom got into me for coming home so late. Slipped my mind."

A disgruntled look came across Mark's face, "I don't get why she's still waiting up for you. Plus it's not like you were that late."

"She just worries a lot. I think Dad also thinks she's being a little overbearing but he won't do anything about it. I don't know, I guess I could have texted her that I would be late," He took a sip of his Coke. "My aunt is coming down on Wednesday and she's making me visit with her."

"Theresa?" Mark asked.

"Yeah, can't wait to be nit picked over everything," Tyler said sarcastically before shoving a few fries into his mouth.

"But what about your practice on Wednesday?"

"I might be a little late. We're going to the Farmer's Market pretty early. I really can't see us staying past noon but I'll tell Josh just to be safe anyways."

"Good idea. That's a weird punishment though,” Mark commented.

“She also made me clean my room which I was planning on doing anyways so it wasn’t that bad. I’ve been thinking about redoing it. Might get some stuff today. Everything is just so boring, too much white and brown. Think I need more blue and yellow,” Tyler told him nonchalantly, dipping a fry into ketchup.

Mark choked on his burger, “You can see colours?”

Tyler froze and looked back at Mark, “Oh yeah, sorry I haven’t told you yet. So much has happened in the past couple days. I meant to tell you, I swear.”

“Hey, dude, it’s okay,” Mark reassured him. “So what are they like?”

Tyler’s face fell, “I’m not sure. It happened at my show on Sunday. I took a look in the crowd for a second and I was suddenly seeing colours. It happened so fast, I have no idea who it is and no one came up after the show,” He paused for a moment, his mood dropping. He whispered “Mark, what if they died?”

Mark wiped his fingers off on his napkin and leaned forward, placing a hand on Tyler’s wrist, “Hey, hey, if by some off chance they did pass away, I don’t think they would want you to mope around all day. If I ever died and left my soulmate, especially without meeting them, the last thing I would want is for them to be sad and to let this get in their way of happiness, okay? And besides, you did start seeing colour when looking through a hundred faces. What are the odds of Soulmate Death happening at the exact time?”

Tyler thought about it for a moment. Mark did have a point, it would be one hell of a coincidence if they died at the exact moment he made eye contact with someone. He replayed the moment in his head again. There was no way it was Soulmate Death, right?

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks, Mark. I just, even if it wasn’t death, how am I supposed to find them now?” Tyler sighed.

“Do you remember anything about them?”

“Just their eyes,” 

“Well,” Mark said. “It’s a good thing you saw them here, if they were in another city you’d be at a total loss. Plus, they also started seeing colour at a Twenty One Pilots show. If I were them, I’d go to each and every show until I worked up the courage to say something.”

“Hey, yeah. That’s true. I didn’t even think of that,” Tyler perked up, taking another sip of his drink.

“So, you said you wanted to work on your room?” 

Tyler crumpled up his wrappers and threw them into the take out bag, “I was thinking about it, but after the argument with my Mom I think I might be done. I’m so sick of being babied. I think it’s time for me to move out.” 

“I have an extra room I was thinking of renting out,” Mark suggested, clean up his mess.

“Yeah, that’s what Josh was saying,”

“You were texting Josh?” They got up to throw their trash away and headed for the door.

“I accidentally texted him last night about my mom. Was supposed to be for you but he ended up helping me through it. How much would rent be?” Tyler changed the subject, for some reason he didn’t want to tell Mark about their upcoming friendship. It almost felt too personal.

“Like $500. Includes everything. I don’t mean to pressure you but I think it would be totally cool if you took it. Would save me from the stress of finding a trustworthy roommate and mine and Josh’s rent would go down,” Mark said as he held the door open.

“I’d have to check my budget, works been kinda slow right now. But i’d love to if I can. I’ll let you know.”

“Sick dude! So I take it were not getting stuff for your room then?”

They were back at the car now, Tyler got into the passenger side, “Yeah probably not. If I move into your place what’s the point in fixing up my current room?”

“Fair enough, so just Nick’s?" Mark asked as he started the engine.

"Yeah dude,"

They made it to Nick’s way too fast in Tyler’s opinion. He stared out at the front of the house, chewing his lip subconsciously. Nerves were racing through his body. He didn’t want to be here. The last time he was here things were a little messy, he hoped Nick wasn’t too pissed at him.

“You gonna let him know we’re here?” Mark’s voice brought him out of his trance.

Tyler shook his head to clear his thoughts, “I didn’t even let him know I was coming today. I hope he’s home.”

He took out his phone and pulled up Nick’s contact info, ‘hey dude, are you at home?’ 

In the two minutes it took for Nick to reply, Tyler’s need to leave grew tenfold. He felt lightheaded and his palms were clammy. He didn’t know his breathing grew heavier until Mark asked if he was okay.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m okay,” Tyler told him, flashing him a weak smile. His phone buzzed.

‘Yes’

‘I’m outside, can i come grab my keyboard?’ 

Nick’s reply was instant, ‘sure dude’

Tyler exhaled and shook his hands out. He turned to Mark, “Okay, let’s go.”

He opened the door, the cold wind grounding him as he stepped out of the car. In Tyler's opinion, it didn't take long enough to get to the front door. Nick was waiting for them with the door open and keyboard in hand.

"Thanks for letting me grab this so fast, I know I didn't give you like any notice," Tyler laughed nervously, taking the keyboard from Nick and placing it under his arm. 

"It's no issue," Nick told him, leaning against the door frame. "Did you find people to cover yet?"

“Yeah actually, I got a new drummer. Figured we didn’t need a bassist, we can just use a computer instead.”

The look on Nick’s face made brought more joy to Tyler than he dared to admit, “Glad you could sort it out. Good luck on Friday,” He nodded stiffly.

“Thanks, man. Are you guys coming?”

Nick shifted his footing, “No, sorry. Got plans. Not sure about Chris.”

A part of Tyler was disappointed. He wanted his friend to see him play and be proud of him, a more cruel side of that part wanted him to see how much better they were without him. At least he hoped how much better they would be. On the other hand, Tyler was a bit relieved that he wouldn’t be there. If they did happen to suck, it wouldn’t be as embarrassing. Tyler didn’t know what he would do if the show turned out to be a disaster and they were there to witness it.

“Ah, that's too bad. Maybe next time. Hey, we gotta go but I'll see you later,”

“Bye, dude!” Nick said and Mark gave him a small smile back. 

Tyler quickly waved before walking back to the car. It wasn’t nearly as bad as he thought it would be. Nick didn’t scream at him and he got his keyboard back. Win win. 

“Thanks for coming along,” Tyler said once him and Mark were back in the car

“It’s no worries, man. Sorry I didn’t really do anything,” Mark told him as he buckled up his seat belt.

“You just being there was enough, don’t worry,” Tyler cringed. “Sorry, that sounded pretty emo.”

Mark barked out a laugh, “Yeah that was pretty emo.”

Tyler rolled his eyes with a small smile on his lips, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“So home now?”

“Yeah, I need to start practicing for Friday,”

"Do you think Nick was pissed because I found a cover or because I realized he wasn't needed?" Tyler asked.

Mark snorted, "Probably both dude."

The smile didn't fall from Tyler's face the whole drive home.

*  
Tyler was quickly trying to eat his cereal. He could barely taste his Frosted Flakes as he shoveled them into his mouth and swallowed without chewing. His Aunt would arrive at any moment and he didn’t need any comments about his unhealthy breakfast from her. Tyler couldn’t care less about the importance of a healthy breakfast, in Tyler’s opinion, the only important thing is that it tasted good and his bowl of Frosted Flakes was doing an amazing job.

To Tyler’s luck and sheer amazement, he succeeded in finishing his breakfast and he almost made it upstairs but his luck couldn’t last forever. The sound of his front door being pushed open made his hair stand on end and his legs scramble up the stairs faster.

“Tyler!” A shrill, loud, and unsettling voice came from behind him, making Tyler cringe and freeze in place. “It’s so nice to see you!”

Tyler quickly tried to wipe the dread off his face as he turned around to face his Aunt. He felt a pair of wrinkly arms wrap around him and the smell of old vanilla perfume sting his nose. 

“Hi Aunt Theresa,” His voice was muffled, face crushed into her shoulder as she held him there. 

He forced himself to hug her back, knowing he would hear about it later if he didn’t. Aunt Theresa withdrew from the hug and leaving him with a wet spot on his cheek from kissing him. He recoiled involuntarily, desperately wanting to wipe his cheek.

She held him at an arm's length away, surveying him. Tyler did the same. Her hair was a mixture of dark red with more than a few strands of grey mixed in. The wrinkles on her face were a little more prominent from the last time he saw her and the makeup on her face was a little heavier than usual, probably from trying to one up his mom on her looks. It didn’t work.

“So what’s new with you?” She asked, stroking a thumb down his cheek.

“Oh you know,” He said, looking past her and at the door where his parents were, silently asking for help. “Still working at the flower shop. Nothing crazy.”

She crossed her arms, “Still? You know, I hate to say it but that job is pretty girly, Tyler. People might start to think things.”

The room suddenly felt ten degrees warmer, his back prickling with the new found heat. Deep breaths, Tyler thought, “Well the management is awesome and they pay isn’t terrible. Plus mom seems to like the flowers I get for her sometimes.

“Oh he brings home some lovely arrangements,” Kelly chimed in.

“Well, you could probably find another place that isn’t so gay and pays even better. That way you can still treat your mom and not look like a pansy. I hear the city is looking for construction workers. If I were you, I'd give it a go.”

Tyler’s ears were ringing and palms were clammy, “I really don’t -” 

“You know, I think that would be a great idea, Tyler,” His dad interrupted. “You’ve been at Sprouts for four years now. It might do your resume good if you change it up a little.”

He couldn’t believe his ears. Just last week his parents were telling him how proud they were for him to keep a job this long. Now his Did was against it just after hearing a few words from his Aunt, “I don’t know, I’m up for a promotion right now and we’re pretty short staffed. I’d feel pretty awful just leaving.”

“What do you owe them?” Aunt Theresa said. “They can always hire more people. I don’t think it would be a big deal.”

“Tyler,” His Mom moved forward to place a hand on his shoulder. “Sometimes you have to think about yourself.”

The way he was feeling was indescribable. Just yesterday his Mom was telling him off for being selfish, now she wants him to do more things for himself? His head was beginning to pound as annoyance began to set in. He should have seen this coming. Tyler’s parents were the biggest pushovers he’s met. 

“I am thinking about myself! I’ve been wanting this promotion since I got the job! I’ve worked so hard for this and when it’s right in front of me you’re telling me I shouldn’t take it?” He was doing everything in his power not to yell. After years of hard work it had finally paid off. This position was something Tyler had been striving for ever since he got the job and his parents knew that.

“Whoa there,” Therea responded with her hands on her hips. Her eyebrows were furrowed as he face was filled with disapproval. “Where will you go in life by being a florist, huh? I can’t think of a more useless job.”

Tyler rubbed his hands over his face, shuddering a sigh into them, “The promotion i’m up for is a managerial position. When I decide to leave I can probably get a better starting position with that experience.”

“I thought you were going to try basketball?” She pointed out, he heard is dad suck in a breath.

Tyler’s mouth fell open in a gape, “And what does construction have to do with basketball?” He heard himself ask before he could think of what he was saying.

He heard his Aunt gasp and his Dad say his name but all he could really listen to was his Mom, “Tyler, why don’t you go take a shower. Maybe cool off a little?”

All his did was nod before quickly running towards and up the stairs. He needed to put as much distance between him and his Aunt as possible. His stomach hurt from the rage coursing through his body. How dare his Aunt say those things and how dare his parents, especially his dad, take her side? Tyler thought back to when they had their chat about work. He seemed so excited to hear how work was going, telling him to really push for it and make it happen. Just a few simple words from his Aunt made him do a complete 180. If Tyler was being honest with himself though, he knew that working at a flower shop was not how he should start a career. If his dream of being a musician didn’t work out, he’d be totally screwed. 

With a shaking hand, he pushed the bathroom door closed behind him quietly. He leaned against it, taking deep breaths to try and tone down his anger. How was he supposed to hang out with his Aunt today now? He doubted that she would even want to see him, not that he wasn’t okay with that. His Mom on the other hand, well she would definitely be disappointed if the Farmer’s Market didn’t happen. Tyler’s stomach dropped when he thought about what was going to happen next. He knew his mom would make him apologize. Does he think he has any reason to? No, of course not. Will he apologize? Probably.

He prolonged his shower as long as he could. Taking extra care to wash his hair twice before deep conditioning but there was only so much he could do before he was forced to get out. Sighing, he turned off the water and stepped out. He wrapped himself with a towel and wiped off the mirrors with his hand, staring into his reflection. He leaned on the counter, thinking about what he was going to say. Nothing came to mind. Ugh. 

Tyler redressed in the clothes he was wearing before and peaked out into the hall. He didn’t want a run in with his parents or god forbid his Aunt.

Zach was leaning against his door frame, seemingly waiting for Tyler, “You alright, bro?”

Tyler nodded, trying to seem as unbothered as possible as he walked past his brother “Yeah, all good.”

Zach gave him a worried look as Tyler walked into his room. He didn’t believe him. After the night by the kitchen sink Zach felt pretty protective of Tyler and after the fight he heard downstairs he knew Tyler would be hurting.

Tyler laid on his back, staring up at his ceiling. His mind was on overdrive with a debate on whether he should stay at the flower shop or follow his parents advice. After the fiasco downstairs Tyler was certain he wanted to move but with his job at Sprout’s it would be a tight budget. He barely made $800 a month but with the promotion he could probably make it work. He couldn’t help considering leaving the flower shop though. His Aunt was right, he’d probably make way more working for the city but the thought of doing construction made his skin crawl. Tyler rubbed at his eyes. Maybe he’d speak to his boss about more hours the next time he was in.

A light knock brought Tyler back his senses. Kelly poked her head in to see if Tyler was awake.

“Hey,” She said, letting herself into his room and closing the door. “How are you feeling?”

“Are you still going to make me go with her today?” Tyler deadpanned and moved his legs so she could sit on the bed.

Kelly stayed silent for a moment and patted Tyler’s shin.

“I - uh. No, Tyler,” She sighed and Tyler’s eyes widened in surprise. “Theresa was completely out of hand and so was your Dad. They had no right to try and force you into something like that. They treat you so well over at Sprout’s and if that’s where you want to stay for a while longer than you should. Especially if you get that promotion. But please know that they only want the best for you, even if it doesn’t come out that way all the time.”

She paused as she looked around the room, “It looks good in here.”

Tyler exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Thanks, Mom, about the room and Aunt Theresa. I appreciate it,” He felt like a weight was taken off his shoulders. All his worrying was erased in a few short sentences, now he just had to figure out how to dodge his Aunt while in his house.

Kelly smiled softly at him before sighing, “I want to apologize.”

“For what?” Tyler laughed. She had done the least out of them all.

“Everything, Tyler,” She squeezed his shin. “For the argument today, for being so overbearing, and being just annoying. Zach came down after you had your shower. I guess he heard what happened and told us to ‘lighten up’, his words not mine. He made us see how hard we’ve been on you. Just, please know that I see you and I hear you. I love you.”

Any resentment Tyler held towards his Mom disappeared. He never thought he’d hear words like this from her and it felt good knowing they were at an understanding. His chest felt lighter than ever, his shoulders relaxed. Zach was going to get a big hug.

“I love you too, Mom.”

“Come here,” She said, stretching her arms out to invite him in for a hug. Tyler didn’t consider himself to be a very touchy person but he’d take one of his Mom’s hugs any day.

“Does this mean you’re done waiting up for me now?” His said into her shoulder.

She rubbed his back and kissed his hair, “I’ll do my best,” She sighed

Tyler beamed and pulled back, “Thanks, Mom.”

She smiled at him and patted his knee, “So did you find anywhere to stay tonight?”

“Mark’s.”

“I should have known,” Kelly laughed and Tyler did too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not super proud of this one (probably bc Josh isn't in it tbh) and the pacing is a little weird so sorry about that but I promise you chapter 4 is a bit of a banger. My system that i'm tying to up keep is to be a chapter a head of the game. So as soon as chapter 5 is done I'll release chapter 4
> 
> as always, thanks for reading !!


	4. Of Practice and Doritos

“Hey can you pass me some hot sauce?” Jay asked as he unwrapped his burrito.

After the heart to heart between Tyler and his Mom, Kelly offered to give them money to get food which they all gladly accepted. So that’s where they were, sitting in the dining area of the nearest Taco Bell with enough food on the table to feed a small army.

Tyler searched under a hoard of wrappers, grabbing a small handful of hot sauce packages when he found them.

“Hot sauce?” Zach snorted as Tyler handed them to Jay. “Fire is definitely the way to go.”

“As if! Hot is definitely the supreme sauce!” Jay shot back, squeezing two packages into his food.

“Yeah, if you’re a wimp!”

Jay gaped at Zach, appalled at what he had said, “How am I the wimp? I’m the strongest one here! Plus, Maddie likes to put mild sauce on her tacos! She’s the wimp!”

“I said that you’re a wimp, not weak. Two very different things bro and the mild sauce makes Maddie smart. It hurts less to poop after but you still get the extra flavour. If you’re gonna eat spicy food, you might as well just own it.” Zach explained, picking the tomatoes off his taco.

“Can you please not talk about pooping when I’m eating?” Maddie asked, looking at her food in disgust. “Also, sometimes I enjoy spicing it up a little. I gotta agree with Zach, the fire one is way better.”

Zach tilted his head back as he cackled, holding his stomach, “See Jay! Even Maddie agrees!”

Jay looked around in disbelief as if to see if anyone else agreed, “What do you think, Tyler?”

“Huh?” Tyler asked having not paid attention to the conversation around him. His mind was full of thoughts on tonight’s practice. He wondered if he should grab snacks and what kind Josh likes. Should he get some for Mark too? Would he be there? He took out his phone.

“What sauce is better, mild, hot or fire?” 

“In general? Fire for sure. It’s a no brainer,” Tyler snorted. “But honestly it depends on what I’m getting, ya know? Like if I’m getting a chalupa it’s gotta be fire. However for something like a crunchwrap, probably mild because there’s already a lot happening.”

“See! Tyler agrees too!” Zach said with a mouthful of beans and rice.

“He said it depends on what he’s having!” Jay defended, waving his burrito in the air and making rice fall to the ground.

Tyler scrunched up his face, “Dude, hot sauce is okay, like I’ll use it if it’s the only thing available but you’ll probably never catch me reaching for it when there’s fire to be eaten.” 

“This is unbelievable. My own siblings go against me like this? I’ve never felt so disrespected!” 

“Okay drama queen, it’s just sauce,” Maddie said, dipping a chip into queso.

Jay sputtered, “Are you kidding me? After all of this, it’s - it’s just sauce?!”

“You got it, lil bro,” Zach said before turning to Tyler. “So I heard you don’t have to stay at home tonight. How’d you score that?”

Tyler was in the middle of sending Josh a quick text, asking him what kind of snacks he likes. Zach leaned over to see what Tyler was doing, “Who’s Josh?”

Tyler looked up and locked his phone, “A friend. And mom said I can leave because I don’t get along with Aunt Theresa.”

“None of us do! That’s not fair!” Maddie exclaimed, brows furrowed in annoyance.

“Well you guys get along better than I do. I don’t know, Mom is just being cool for once.” Tyler said as he crumpled up his trash piling it onto their tray.

“I wish she would be cool with me,” Jay pouted and crossed his arms, leaning back against his chair.

“Dude you’re literally her favourite,” Maddie said.

“Not true,”

“Uh, you absolutely are! She bought you a PS3 last month!” 

“Is Josh cool?” Zach asked Tyler, bringing Tyler out of his entertained state from his fighting siblings.

“Oh uh, yeah he’s real cool,” Tyler said lamely as he checked his phone for Josh’s response.

“How come I haven’t heard you talk about him before?” 

“Dude, why are you being so weird?” 

“I’m not!” Zach protested. “I’m just tryna get to know my big brother more. Does he play any instruments?”

“Yeah, he plays the drums. Why?” Tyler sighed and rubbed his cheek.

“Because I’m trying to figure if my theory is true,”

“What theory?” Tyler felt his neck prickle. Could Zach know about his soulmate dilemma? How could he? Tyler thought to himself. How could he know that Josh is connected? He’s only told Mark so far but maybe Mark said something to Zach? No, that was crazy. The last time Tyler checked, Mark and Zach weren’t friends and Mark wouldn’t say something like that without Tyler’s permission. Plus, he hadn’t mentioned that Tyler has a low suspicion of Josh being his match. 

“I think you’re in a band,” Zach said pointedly.

Tyler felt his lungs deflate as relief washed over him. Of course he wouldn’t know about Josh and his soulmate issues, “Yeah, I’m in a band. Dude, you asked me that in the weirdest way possible.”

“Yeah, well, just following your footsteps,” Zach said and Tyler flicked him. “But that’s sick man! I had a feeling that you were because you’d go out with your keyboard a couple days a week and come back sweaty and at first I thought it was a weird sex thing but I’ve realized that the band thing is way more up your street.”

Tyler’s face scrunched up in exasperation and slight disgust, “Ew, dude.”

“Hey, I said it was just a theory!”

“Hey, can we go now?” Maddie asked, slumped over the table with her head in her hands. “Abby and I have plans.”

“Yeah we can go,” Tyler said as he gathered up the rest of the garbage on the tables and placing it in the take out bag. “You ready, Jay?”

Tyler glanced over to his brother and rolled his eyes, laughing a little bit when he saw Jay hunched over the back of the chair with his hands over his bloated stomach and a grimace on his face. 

“I think I’m gonna explode,” Jay complained, rubbing his swollen stomach.

“Well you can explode when we get home,” Tyler laughed. “C’mon.”

Tyler kicked at the legs of Jay’s chair, urging him to get up. With a loud, final groan, Jay unhappily got up and complained the whole way home.

Tyler shoved clothes into his backpack, taking time to smell them and make sure they weren’t dirty. He couldn’t have Josh thinking he was dirty. He picked up his favourite shirt and unfolded it. His Mom got it from Disneyland in the 80’s and recycled it to Tyler after he snagged it from a donation pile his Mom was making. It was a little different from what he usually wore, all bright and covered in Mickey Mouses but it was vintage and worn and he thought it was cool. Tyler groaned when he saw a toothpaste stain on one of the mouse heads, throwing it back into the hamper he was rummaging through. He had clean clothes, just most of his cool clothes were dirty and he never wanted to impress someone more than he did with Josh.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, Tyler pulled it out and sat down on his bed. It was a text from Josh.

‘Hey work needs me to stay a little later today, can we meet at 6 instead?’

Tyler sighed. It was 1:30 now and 6 just seemed so far away but he understood that work can suck sometimes, plus it gave him time to wash his Mickey Mouse shirt.

‘For sure man, see you then’

He took his shirt down to the laundry room before finishing packing. His Aunt was nowhere to be seen. Must be at the Farmer’s Market with one of his parents, maybe both, Tyler guessed as he made his way back up the stairs. He laid down on his back in his bed and grabbed his phone, realizing that he forgot to ask Mark if he could stay the night. His eyes closed when the text was sent, exhaustion filling his being and leaving his eyelids like bricks.

The window emitted a soft, peaceful glow, Tyler noticed as he opened his eyes. It was considerably darker in his room from when he rested. There was a new laundry hamper filled with the clothes he had thrown in the washer earlier by his door. Tyler reached for his phone to check the time. 5 PM it read in a bright, white light, blinding him. Tyler groaned in a panic. He had napped and overslept by accident and now he only had an hour to grab the food he had promised and to get to practice. 

As he rolled out of bed, he reached down to grab his backpack after ripping through his laundry basket to find his shirt and packing it. Tyler made it into his car in record time, reaching over to set up his playlist for the ride but his hand stopped short when he remembered his sound system was gone. Letting out a frustrated groan, he ran his hand through his hair as he leaned back against the headrest. His reflection in the rear view mirror caught his attention. There were bags under his eyes and as he tilted the mirror to get a better look, he noticed how messy his hair was and how his blanket branded angry, defined lines on his cheeks from sleeping in one position for too long. Tyler fiddled with his hair, desperate to get it to lay flat and rubbed his finger over the lines on his face. It was no use. He looked like a mess but time was running short and he had to get going so after one last ditch attempt to compose his appearance, he made his way to the closest Walmart.

Traffic sucked and the parking lot was packed but Tyler was pleased to see that he made it there in relatively good time. He doubled checked Josh’s text to him before swiping a bag of Sweet Chili Heat Doritos from the shelf after grabbing an eight pack of Red Bull from the aisle over. Mark still hadn’t texted him his snack choices so he was just going to have to deal with whatever he grabbed. Plus, who didn’t like Doritos? He grabbed a container of sour gummy worms for good measure because he knew Mark liked them.

He made his way over to the dental section, having forgotten his toothbrush and paste but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the back of a familiar head.

Quickly swiveling in his spot, he decided he can go without brushing his teeth. Who needed dental hygiene anyways? Not Tyler, at least for the night.

"Tyler!" Chris' voice called out. "Is that you?"

Tyler cringed but turned back around, "Hey man, what's up?"

Chris was smiling at him, Tyler tried his best to return it, "Oh not much. Just getting a new toothbrush," Chris waved the toothbrush around.

"Nice," Tyler said awkwardly, looking for an out in the conversation.

"Hey did you ever find someone to cover?" Chris asked with genuinity.

Tyler brightened up slightly as he led Chris back over to the toothbrushes, "Yeah actually! I found a drummer. He's super good."

He picked up a basic green Oral B brush and dropped it into the basket before walking to the toothpaste. Would Mark let him use some of his? Probably. 

“That’s awesome, man! I was really hoping you would. I still feel really shitty about having to drop but I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

Tyler turned to him. He felt a little better than before, he could tell that Chris was being sincere, “It’s cool, I get it. I was super upset at first, not gonna lie, but I’ve had time to think about it and after finding Josh I’m feeling a little better about the situation. The only thing though is that if you ever join another band, give them more notice. I was lucky that I found Josh but others might not be.”

“I totally get that man. I realized how shitty of a thing that was for us to pull on you. I think if I were in your shoes I’d be way more pissed than you were.” Chris said as he scratched the back of his head. “Are we cool?”

Tyler smiled, “Yeah, we’re cool.”

“Oh thank God. I was really hoping this wouldn’t ruin our friendship,” Chris said. “Also I’m trying to make it to the show on Friday. I just need to convince my boss to let me have the night off.”

Tyler felt his stomach drop. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Chris there yet. He hyped up Josh to him without hearing him actually play and if he sucked he would be so embarrassed if Chris was there to witness it, “That would be sick! I hope you can.” Tyler lied, shifting his weight onto one foot.

“I’ll do my best,” Chris laughed. “Anyways, I gotta go. I promised my girlfriend I’d take her out tonight and I’m already running late. It was nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you too,”

Tyler left Walmart feeling lighter. Before he’d dreaded the thought of running into his former band mates but after the conversation with Chris he was excited to continue being friends and he hoped that Chris would be there to support him along his journey of becoming a musician. His stomach still squirmed at the idea of Chris coming on Friday night. His only solace was praying that Josh was as good as Mark hyped him up to be.

It was a little later than six when Tyler pulled up in front of Mark and Josh’s house. With each mile that he drove, the more nervous he became. This was a big deal, his first practice with a new lineup. Well, sort of new lineup. He hasn’t asked Josh officially to be in the band. It would be kind of a stupid idea to ask someone when you haven’t even heard them yet and he already jumped the gun by asking him to perform just based on Mark’s praise. 

Tyler looked out the passenger door and up to the front window. The curtains were covering it but he could see a crack of light emerging from between the two panels. He wondered if Josh was in the living room.

He took a deep breath and grabbed his phone. It was now or never. He texted Josh.

‘hey i’m outside’.

It took mere moments before he got a reply. His phone buzzed sharply in his hand and he opened it quickly, heart racing.

‘Come on in, i’m downstairs’ Josh’s text read.

Tyler’s body acted on it’s own accord, opening his car door and reaching in the back seat to grab his bags and his keyboard. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and tucked the keyboard into his side, his arm holding it securely in place. As he walked through the grass, he was struggling to even out his breathing. He wasn’t even sure why he was so nervous. Maybe it was because this is the first time hanging out with Josh alone. Mark wouldn’t be there to commandeer the situation, would it be weird? Tyler just met the guy, what were they supposed to talk about when they took a break? 

He was at the front door now and he gripped the cool door knob, twisting it and quietly pushing the door open. Tyler paused when he made it onto the front entrance. Should he lock it? 

“Hey, Josh,” Tyler called down the stairs and hesitated. “Do you - do you want me to lock the door?” He cursed at himself mentally for stuttering.

“Uh,” He heard Josh call. “Yeah, sure. Just the handle please though.” 

Tyler quickly did what he was told before he headed down the stairs, taking his time with each step to mentally prepare himself. As he rounded the corner, he noticed Josh on the floor crouching next to the wall. His head was bowed with his back turned to Tyler. He hadn’t noticed Tyler come down.

Tyler cleared his throat, “Hey.”

Josh jumped and whipped around, holding his phone in one hand and his heart in the other, “Holy crap, dude! You scared me!”.

Josh’s hair was messy and sticking slightly to his forehead, presumably from working up a sweat from practicing. The sweatpants he wore were light grey and a little baggy, his shirt loose and light green with a bicycle on it. There was a trace of stubble on his face and bags hung under his eyes. Tyler couldn’t help but think he still looked cute.

Tyler giggled, “Sorry, man. Didn’t mean to give you a heart attack!” 

“Just don’t do it again,” Josh joked as he turned back around to plug in his phone.

This wasn’t so bad, Tyler thought as he set his bags down on the couch and pulled out the snacks he bought, placing them on the coffee table. He forgot how easy it was to talk to Josh. Any anxiety he was feeling prior to coming down the stairs vanished the second he set eyes on him. 

“Sick set,” Tyler commented, looking over the black drumset. It was nothing special but it was Josh’s and felt right.

Josh beamed as he climbed behind the kit and grabbing a pair of sticks, “Thanks, man!” 

Tyler quickly set up his keyboard and computer, placing them directly in front of Josh with the coffee table in between them. He reached into his pocket grabbing out a sheet of folded paper.

“So I realized I forgot to send you a setlist,” He said as he unfolded the paper. “What songs do you know?”

“All of them.” Josh responded and Tyler looked up at him in surprise.

“You learned them all?” He said, lowering the sheet of paper.

“Yes,”

“Holy crap, dude,” Tyler’s voice was full of amazement. “That’s crazy! What are you, a wizard?”

“Absolutely,” Josh joked, laughing lightly as he twirled a drumstick between his fingers.

The smile on Tyler’s face didn’t fall as he handed Josh the setlist, “So we only have a half hour set before the main band comes on so we have to keep it kinda short. I was thinking we could start with Fall Away but I’m a little nervous that it’s too slow for an opener. What do you think?”

“I think it should work, we have Johnny Boy next so that’ll help bring up the pace and then with The Pantaloon after that we should be in full swing,” Josh said as he scanned over the list.

“Sick!” Tyler tapped out a few melodies to warm up. “Are you ready to start? I figured we could just go down the list and then pick a few to tighten up as needed.”

“Yeah, I’m ready, I just-,” Josh paused, wringing his hands as he stared at the ground. Concerned washed through Tyler, his fingers halting from their warm up as he stared at Josh with worry. 

“You good, Josh?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah, I just - I just don’t sing,” He confessed, lowering his head in shame. “Is that okay?”

Relief overcame Tyler, “Oh, yeah, dude! That’s fine. If you don’t want to sing I won’t make you. I’m pretty sure I have backing vocals recorded but even if not it’s still cool. Don’t worry about it.”

Josh relaxed, exhaling as he looked back up to Tyler, “Thanks, man. I just suck at public speaking so much and every other band I’ve been with has wanted me to do backing vocals and I just can’t bring myself to do it.” 

“It’s really not an issue. Don’t sweat it! Are we good?” Tyler said, playing the opening notes of Fall Away

“Yeah, we should be good.”

“Cool,” 

“I don’t wanna fall, fall away  
I don’t wanna fall, fall away  
I’ll keep the lights on in this place  
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall, fall away-”

Tyler played the song mostly on muscle memory, anxious to hear Josh come in but as he finished the first verse Josh missed his cue.

Tyler stopped, looking at Josh with a raised eyebrow. Josh was staring back at him with a nervous smile, a blush across his cheeks and one stick in his raised hands.

“Sorry, my stick flew out of my hand,” He explained, reaching down to grab a new one from his pouch.

Tyler cracked a smile, “You haven’t even started to play yet and your hands are already sweaty?”

“I’m nervous okay!” Josh laughed as he wiped his hands on his sweats.

“Okay, okay,” Tyler laughed, cracking his knuckles and placing his hands back into position. “Let’s try this again.”

This time around Josh entered on cue. Even with the simple beat, Tyler could immediately tell that Josh had more talent than Chris. The way that he seamlessly drummed out the notes was much smoother than Chris’ drumming. He had his eyes closed as he moved, almost danced to the rhythm of the song. Josh was passionate, something that Tyler’s former bandmates lacked in and he was eager to see him play a more involved song.

They got through the song without a hitch, by the end of it Tyler was buzzing with excitement “That was sick! Dude, you totally killed it!”

Josh beamed, “Yeah it was, thanks dude!”

With every song they practiced, the more Tyler became impressed. Josh was like no other drummer Tyler had seen before and he couldn’t wait for Friday. While it wasn’t a long set, Tyler figured there was bound to be someone out there who liked them in a crowd that big and with Josh and his energy on Tyler’s side they were going to kill it. For the first time in a while, he felt optimistic about his band. Nick and Chris didn’t have their heart set in a lifestyle of being a musician like Tyler was. To them, the band was just a side project, a hobby but to Tyler it was his baby, his every fibre of his being, his reason to stay alive. He wondered if Josh felt that way about music too.

It was nearing nine now, they’ve been at it for a total of three hours and they were exhausted but happy. 

“You guys sound so good!”

Tyler jumped, his heart beating a thousand miles an hour. He clutched at his heart as he swiveled around to face Mark. He hadn’t heard him come down the stairs.

“Holy crap, Mark! You scared the hell out of me!” Tyler exclaimed, now rubbing his aching heart.

Josh laughed and pushed his wet hair out of his sweaty face. Tyler thought it sounded better than his drumming. 

“What are you doing here?” Josh asked. “I thought you said you were working the late shift tonight.”

“Oh I read the schedule wrong. You would not believe how happy I was when Jenna came in at eight. I was so not looking forward to working fourteen hours.” Mark explained as he stole a handful of chips and sat down on the couch.

Mark shoved a Dorito in his mouth, “Can’t believe you picked Sweet Chili Heat over Cool Ranch,” he said, his face scrunched up in slight distaste.

“Hey dude I sent you a text asking what you wanted and you never replied!” Tyler defended, also grabbing a few chips.

Mark’s face screwed up in confusion and pulled out his phone to look through their texts, “I swear I never got a text like that. The only one I have is you telling me you’re gonna stay the night.”

Josh’s head snapped over to Tyler, pure excitement written on his face, “You’re staying the night dude?”

“Yeah, if that’s okay.”

“Sick dude! We’re gonna have the best time. Tomorrow we should go to Buckeye’s, you need to try their coffee man."

Tyler scrunched up his face, "I'm not a huge fan of coffee,"

Josh shrugged, "That's chill, dude, they have really good hot chocolate and donuts too. You can come too, Mark."

"Oh wow, thanks," Mark said sarcastically, his voice muffled by Doritos. "Love to get a pity invite."

Josh scoffed, "It wasn't a pity invite! Just Tyler hasn't been there before and I already took you."

"Dude, chill," Mark laughed. "I'm just kidding. Plus apparently I have to work at noon."

"How bad did you mess up your schedule?" Tyler asked as he reached over to swipe a Red Bull from the table.

"Real bad. I'm surprised that I showed up to my shift on time today."

“Are you guys done practicing? You sounded great,” Mark continued 

Tyler looked over at Josh who shrugged, “Thanks, man and I’m not sure yet. Kinda want to take a break at least.”

“Yeah my arms are killing me,” Josh said as he stretched out his arms and cracking his neck. “ You guys up for Mario Kart? I want to beat Tyler this time.”

“Ha! In your dreams dude!” Tyler laughed but got up to help Mark set up nonetheless.

They were four rounds in before Josh got his victory.

“Ha! See, I beat the champion Mario Karter!” Josh high fived Mark, sticking his tongue out at Tyler.

Tyler scowled, “Hey it was only because that blue shell came up right when I was about to cross the finish line!”

“A wins a win, baby. Can’t do anything about it,” Josh teased.

Tyler felt a blush cross his face as he ducked and shook his head. Josh had called him baby. He knew there was nothing romantic about it but it still made his heart race.

“Don’t be a sore loser, Ty. Sometimes you just suck,” Mark said smugly as he shrugged his shoulders, arms crossed.

“I do not suck!”

“You kind of did, Ty. Your loss proves it,” Mark said, scrolling through the menu to find another course. 

“I told you, it was a fluke! If it wasn’t for that stupid blue shell my winning streak wouldn’t be over!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say,” Mark joked. “You guys up for Rainbow Road?”

Tyler dominated them with the rest of the rounds. They played until one in the morning, up until Mark claimed that he had to go to bed and telling them that they had to be quiet.

“How tall are you?” Josh asked as he came down the stairs holding a bundle of blankets and pillows. 

“Uh, about five nine. Why?” 

“Hmm, same here. Just trying to see who should get the shorter couch s’all.” Josh replied throwing him a comforter and a pillow. “You’re the guest you should take the bigger couch.”

Tyler gave him a bewildered look, “Dude, why don’t you just sleep in your bed?”

“Because,” Josh said as he set up his couch and turned off the light, letting the glow of the TV guide him back to his spot. “That would make for a lame sleepover.”

Tyler’s heart twinged. Whenever he slept over at other friends houses they always left him alone and he just accepted that sleepover things like sharing a room weren’t for people who were supposed to be mature adults. He missed this, staying up with someone really late and camping out together, “Totally, man. Thanks for the big couch by the way.”

He could see the gleam in Josh’s teeth as he smiled, “Of course, dude.”

Josh settled in, curled up tightly with his legs to his chest as he squeezed himself into a comfortable position, scrolling through his phone. Tyler felt a little bad but he doubted Josh would let them switch spots.

“Hey, Tyler?” Josh asked, not taking his eyes away from his phone.

“Yeah, Josh?”

“I think we sound really good.”

Tyler beamed, “I think we do too,” And he meant it. If Chris came to the show, he would be excited for him to hear what they sound like.

A few minutes passed before Josh turned his phone off and placed it on the ground, “Hey, Tyler?”

“Yeah?”

“Goodnight.”

Tyler laughed quietly, “Goodnight, Josh.”

And it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to keep this story as close to cannon as possible but with some twists here and there for content and also bc i messed up some facts.  
> i love reading comments so it would be sick as hell if you guys did that, makes me more motivated to write <3  
> sorry for the long wait, I was having some trouble with chapter five but i think i got it down  
> thanks for reading!!


	5. A Day With Josh

“One bowl of the Josh special served by yours truly,” Josh said, placing a bowl of cereal in front of Tyler.

Tyler poked around at the bowl, laughing, “What’s in this?”

“Cocoa Puffs and Cap’n Crunch,” Josh took a seat across from Tyler, mixing his the two cereals together and grabbing a spoonful.

Tyler took a bite, chewing slowly to decide if he liked it. He's never thought of mixing cereals but it seemed kind of genius.

"Well?" Josh asked, leaning over his bowl and the table. "How is it?"

Tyler held up a finger and took another bite, screwing his face up into concentration and deep thought. He loved it, it was a little sweet but Tyler loved sweet things and the two flavors reminded him of s'mores but without the marshmallows. He could see Josh getting antsy and he reached down to grab another bite to mess with him.

"Tyler!" Josh laughed, exasperated.

He couldn't stop the smile that grew on his face, "It's good, it's really good, Josh,"

Josh beamed, "Sick,"

"The only thing it could use is marshmallows though," Tyler continued after taking a sip of the milk.

“Hmm,” Josh hummed before getting up abruptly and began rifling through the cupboards. “I’m so sure I saw Mark bring some home.”

He began to take down boxes of crackers and granola bars, placing them on the stove, “I swear I did, I just - aha!” Josh exclaimed, swinging around yielding a bag of mini marshmallows. 

He walked back over to the table, ripping the bag open before sprinkling a small handful into Tyler’s and his own bowl. 

Tyler immediately drove in, grabbing the biggest spoonful the spoon would allow, making sure it had a bit of everything on it. It was chewy, and crunchy, and chocolatey, and a bit milky but oh so perfect. He let out a loud groan, going for another bite. How has he never thought about mixing cereals together?

"This is the best fucking thing I've ever tasted," Tyler said passionately, his mouth still full with his breakfast. He took a quick glance at Josh but the look on his face made his eyes linger.

His head was tilted down slightly over his bowl but Tyler could still make out the light pink colour that dusted his cheeks. Josh's eyes were trained on his, his lips a bit puckered from surprise. Tyler couldn't help but think of how pretty Josh looked with his long, black eyelashes and his subtle freckles and his stupid curly, dark hair. He hadn't realized he lowered his spoon back into his bowl, maybe a little too haphazardly because milk splashed out the sides but Tyler couldn't bring himself to care. He was too lost the boy in front of him.

"You okay?" Tyler heard himself ask, his voice soft.

Josh shook his head abruptly, clearing both Tyler and himself out of their trances. He leaned back against his chair and ran his hand through his hair.

"Oh yeah, yeah I just -" Josh struggled for words and clearing his throat, swirling his spoon around his bowl. "I've just never heard you swear."

“Oh,” Tyler laughed softly. “Yeah I guess I don’t do that very often.”

“What do you think?” Tyler continued, waving his spoon at Josh.

“So good,” Josh’s voice was muffled as he tried to shield his mouthful from Tyler’s view.

Tyler stared Josh in admiration as he swallowed, “We make such a good team.”

Josh gave him a smile that left Tyler breathless, “Yeah we do.”

“So what’s on the agenda today?” 

“Well, for sure Buckeye’s,” Josh answered, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “And then I was thinking we could check out this record store, it’s just a little bit up the road. My Mom also wants me to keep an eye out for this tea set for my grandma so I was hoping we could check out an antique store nearby if that’s okay…?” 

"Oh yeah, for sure! Sounds sick!"

And that's exactly what the did, plus a little more. Right after their cereal they went straight to the coffee shop. Josh ordered an iced caramel macchiato and some donuts to share; Tyler got a hot chocolate.

“This is so good!” Tyler sipped his hot chocolate, burning his tongue slightly in the process but he didn’t care, too eager to try his new drink.

“I told you!” Josh said as he mixed his drink around before he offered it to Tyler. “You want some?”

Tyler eyed the iced coffee, it did look good and he did buy a hot drink on a hot day. He held out a hand, letting Josh pass him the drink. It was sweet but a little bitter and the string of caramel that came with it was a nice surprise. He took another sip, not ready to give the coffee back to Josh.

"What do you think?" Tyler heard Josh ask as he returned the drink. 

"So good," Tyler concluded as he nodded and gave Josh a thumbs up.

They were in Josh's car, an old green station wagon that still only took cassettes and FM radio. The seats were a pale pink colour, once red but faded with age. It was not the kind of car Tyler imagined Josh to drive but he loved it anyways. He still wasn't over the fact that he could appreciate colours now and seeing Josh with such bright surroundings made Tyler happy. He loved seeing Josh in all black, don't get him wrong, but it was nice to see him a little out of place.

"One of my favourite things there is just their plain iced coffee with milk but I figured you might like this a little better," Josh explained as he put the car into reverse. Tyler tried to stay very still as Josh put his arm around the back of Tyler's head rest to see better out the back window. His breath caught in his throat after he caught of whiff of Josh's cologne. The smell reminded him of home. It smelled nothing like his house but it was warm and a little woodsy and it made Tyler feel safe. He thought about how lovely it would be to shove his face into Josh's chest and to fall asleep but quickly wrinkled his face up after he realized how creepy that sounded. Whether Tyler liked it or not, which he definitely did not like, they were just friends and friends don't swoon over how their friend smells. 

Josh sat back in his seat, bringing Tyler out of his trance as he pulled out of the parking lot. Tyler shook his head in order to clear his mind.

“Ye- Yeah, I think I would prefer this one too.”

Tyler reached into the back seat to grab the box of donuts, “Which one is your favourite?” He asked, opening the box.

Josh threw a quick glance at the box, “Uh, probably either the bowtie or the chocolate long john.”

Tyler nodded, satisfied with Josh’s answer as he ripped both of his favourite’s in half. He tried the bowtie first. He was intrigued by the shape, having never seen one like this before. It was twisted into a knot which kind of resembled a bowtie but to Tyler it looked more like half way between a figure eight and a square knot. It looked delicious though, glazed and toasted brown and soft. He took a bite and immediately decided he’s never had a donut this good before.

“So?” Tyler heard Josh ask.

“Dude, you have shown me the best foods today,”

Josh let out a laugh, “What can I say, I know my stuff.”

They made it to the record store in five minutes. The store front looked pretty run down but in a punk rock way, Tyler noted as he read the name, Used Kids. 

“This is one of my favourite record shops,” Josh said as he held the door open for Tyler.

The inside was nothing like the outside. It had an edge of modernity but still had the feel of a classic record shop. The store was relatively small but still had the space to hold what looked like thousands of records and CD’s with a couple hundred cassettes on the back wall. Josh led Tyler over to the first row of records and began to refile through them, picking one out every now and then to study the back cover.

“I have this tradition,” Josh began, making Tyler look up from the stack he was going through. He hummed in response to prompt Josh to continue. “I try to pick out the most tattooed person in the store and ask them to recommend me a CD.”

Tyler paused and let out a quiet laugh, “Do you get a lot of good recommendations?”

“Actually yeah! I’ve discovered a couple of my favourite artists this way,” Josh said as he looked around the store, presumably looking for someone to help him with his new music, “Who do you think is the most tatted up?”

“Hmm,” Tyler responded as he scoped out the place. His eyes landed on an older man, probably in his fifties. His hair was short and grey and had one of the sickest beards Tyler had ever seen. His arms were covered in ink, not a speck of uncovered skin left. “Him, with the cool beard.”

Tyler discreetly motioned his head over to the man at the back of the store. Josh looked him up and down, deciding if he was the right candidate. He gave Tyler a short nod and told him he’d be right back before walking over to the man. 

Tyler watched from afar as the man’s face lit up when Josh asked him and immediately brought him over to the CD’s. He searched through the pile for a moment or two before presenting Josh a blue covered CD. They spoke briefly before Josh waved at the man and walked back to Tyler.

“Weezer,” He said, waving the album at Tyler.

Tyler gave an impressed nod, “I heard they’re pretty good,”

"Same here! Been meaning to listen to them. What would you recommend?”

“I uh -” Tyler’s face scrunched up in thought, “That’s a tough question.”

“But probably Torches by Foster the People,” He concluded, leading Josh over to the ‘F’ section. “I’m not sure if they would have it though, it’s pretty new.”

Josh nodded and wordlessly grabbed Tyler’s elbow, pulling him away from his digging through the CD’s. Tyler gave him a confused look, “If you don’t think it’ll be a good album it’s cool.”

“No, no,” Josh laughed, stopping them in front of a small section of shrink wrapped vinyls and CD’s, “This is where they keep their new stock.”

Tyler’s mouth formed an O shape as Josh pulled out the desired CD.

“It’s got some cool album art,” Josh noted, flipping the album around to read the tracklist. “What’s your favourite song off it?”

“Probably Call It What You Want, but Houdini is a close second.”

Josh nodded and looked back up at Tyler, “Sick! Thanks, dude.”

“No worries,” Tyler smiled. “Do you have recommendations for me?”

“Oh I’ve got just the thing.”

They left the store with three new CD’s. Josh with his two recommendations and Tyler with Black Holes and Revelations, an album by Muse courtesy of Josh.

“My favourite song has to be Starlight,” Josh told him when they got back in the car, sipping on his coffee.

“Is this the band with that song in Twilight?” Tyler asked, also taking a sip of his drink and scrunching up his nose when he realized it was now cold.

Josh laughed a little nervously, “Uh, yes?”

“Sick, dude! Being honest, I love that movie.”

Tyler could see Josh visibly relax, his shoulders lowering and his fingers no longer white-knuckling the steering wheel.

“Dude same! I really thought you were gonna make fun of me for a second and I was not afraid to tell you off about how awesome the movie actually is.”

They spent the whole car ride to the antique store talking about the saga. Tyler revealed that his least favourite is New Moon and that he hasn’t read the books making Josh give him an appalled glance as he struggled to drive and lecture Tyler about his wrong opinions. Josh made Tyler promise to try reading the books because ‘there is so much more to the story’ and they agreed to see Breaking Dawn together when it comes out.

Their trip to the record store was in vain, having not checked their hours before stopping by. What store is closed on Thursdays? 

They ended up heading back to Josh’s place to start practice a little early. 

“You know, usually I’m super nervous about upcoming shows a few days beforehand but I’m feeling pretty okay this time around,” Tyler commented as they came to a close with their practice. 

“Yeah?” Josh nodded, “I’ve been super anxious about it not gonna lie.”

Tyler couldn’t keep the surprised expression off his face, “Really? You haven’t showcased it at all, dude.”

Josh laughed, “I’m pretty good at hiding when I’m feeling anxious, I guess. I don’t know. I’ve played a good handful of shows with another band and I’ve always gotten nervous but I’m feeling extra nervous for tomorrow for some reason.”

This raised an abundance of questions in Tyler.

“You’ve played in another band? Are you still with them? Are they gonna be okay with you playing with me tomorrow? Why are you so nervous this time? Should I be nervous?” 

“Whoa whoa, Tyler, one at a time,” Josh joked. “And yeah I played in a band called House of Heroes and no I’m not with them anymore, I just filled in for their drummer while he took some time off. So yeah they should be okay with me playing with you because I have nothing to do with that band anymore. And I’m nervous because I’ve always admired your band and I don’t want to mess it up.”

Tyler licked his lips and let out a soft ‘O’, “Okay good, because I don’t think I could find another drummer this last minute and second, don’t be nervous about messing up. You’re for real one of the best drummers I’ve heard, better than Chris, and I would have said no to you playing tomorrow if you sucked or if I thought it wasn’t going to work out so you really don’t have to worry, Josh. I couldn’t be happier with who I got to cover.”

Josh couldn’t keep the grin off his face even if he wanted to. 

“Thanks, Ty. S’means a lot.”

“Anytime, dude.”

They were silent for a few moments, enjoying each other’s company as they checked their phones and answering any messages they got while practicing.

“Will you show me how to play a little?” Tyler heard himself ask, eyeing the drum kit in front of Josh and cringing as the words came up but made no effort to stop himself. 

Josh looked at him in surprise, his eyebrows raised and eyes wide but he smiled nonetheless and got off his seat. 

“Yeah, man. C’mere,” He said, patting the bench and standing off to the side. 

Tyler hesitantly sat down, forcing himself to not swing himself side to side with the bench and taking the drumsticks that Josh offered him. 

“Okay so first I guess you should know what everything is called,” Josh said, getting in front of the kit.

“This is the snare, the kick drum, rack tom, floor tom, hi-hat, crash and cymbal,” Josh pointed to various parts of the drums. Tyler knew all of this already having had Chris show him but he didn’t have the heart to tell Josh. Plus hearing him talk about something he was passionate about made Tyler way happier than it should.

“But I think I’m just gonna show you a simple beat so we’ll only use the hi-hat, snare and kick drum.” Josh continued, unaware of Tyler’s staring, “And we’ll go pretty slow. You know how to count beats, right?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Okay cool, so we’ll hit the hi-hat on every one and two and three and four. Do you think you’ll need a metronome?” He looked back at Tyler and Tyler quickly averted his gaze in an attempt to seem inconspicuous 

“Uh,” Tyler paused. “I’m not sure. Do you have one?”

“I’ve got an app for it. Let’s use it anyway.” 

The beat Josh showed him was simple but classic, involving Tyler hitting the hi-hat at a consistent pace and then incorporating the kick drum and snare on the off beats but opposite of each other.

“You’re almost there but you need to hit the hi-hat and snare just a little harder. Like this,” Josh was behind Tyler now, grabbing the sticks from his hands and getting up close beside him. He played the beat perfectly with Tyler operating the kick drum, admittedly struggling a little because he couldn’t concentrate from how close Josh was. 

Tyler watched Josh’s arms flex as he hit the drums, mesmerized at the strength they held, showcased by such simple beat. He could smell a faint whiff of sweat and that woodsy cologne and it made Tyler’s head swim. He glanced up at Josh’s face. It was completely neutral as he drummed without thinking. They played through a few bars to really make sure Tyler understood the ins and outs. 

“You wanna try?” Josh turned his face towards Tyler and Tyler could feel the air leave his lungs. They were suddenly a lot closer now, their noses about three inches away from each other. He studied Josh’s face, trying to memorize each line and freckle he came across. His eyes traveled upwards towards Josh’s eyes, going cross eyed as they made eye contact. Josh’s eyes were Tyler favourite feature about him. They were gentle and beautiful and held such kindness and warmth. Tyler could get lost in them and never want to leave. 

A pang of guilt ran through Tyler as a fleeting reminder overcame him that Josh wasn’t his soulmate. He shouldn’t be feeling this way over him when someone was out there that was most likely waiting for him and not to mention Josh had his own soulmate to find. Another wave of guilt crashed over him when he remembered that Josh was in the same boat as him, seeing colours without any clue who gifted him them. He’d forgotten about what Mark told him and Tyler ogling over Josh when he was apparently heartbroken over his missed connection was a pretty shitty thing. Tyler thought he was making it pretty obvious of his crush on Josh and he vowed to tone it down to save him from any other pain.

Unfortunately Josh made it pretty hard right off the bat as he blew sweet, hot breath into Tyler’s face as he exhaled making him swoon and his head swim again.

Tyler shook his head and veered back, clearing his throat. He missed the sad look that flashed on Josh’s face, “Yeah, let’s give it a go.”

He took the sticks back and this time around executed the beat near perfectly, maybe going too slow or fast in certain areas but Tyler was happy with himself and how it sounded for now at least.

“Do you wanna hear a song I’ve been working on?”

Josh had taken a few steps back to watch Tyler practice, arms crossed over his chest as he silently evaluated his drumming. He was doing pretty good and learning fast, even with such a simple beat Josh was sure Tyler could be a great drummer.

His expression turned surprised and he uncrossed his arms, “Absolutely, dude!”

“Okay cool,” Tyler got up from his spot in front of the drum kit and settled down by his keyboard again. He sucked his teeth nervously.

“I haven’t shown anyone this song before,” He admitted, playing a few melodies to calm him down.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Tyler,” Josh said softly as he took a seat on the couch.

“No, I want to. Believe me, it’s just a little personal s’all,” Tyler was looking at the carpeted floor. He knew he’d been itching to play this in front of someone for a while now and Josh just seemed like a perfect candidate. Who knows, maybe he could help out with the drums too. “I wrote this song when I was seventeen but I’ve just finally gotten everything right about it.”

Josh nodded encouragingly, eager to hear what Tyler had written. He was flattered that Tyler trusted him enough to let him listen to a new song.

Tyler inhaled sharply, beginning to play the opening notes with shaking fingers,

“I know where you stand  
Silent in the trees  
And that's where I am  
Silent in the trees.  
Why won't you speak  
Where I happen to be?  
Silent in the trees  
Standing cowardly.”

The nerves he was feeling left quietly as he played, leaving him alone in his element. The amount of peace this song gave him with indescribable but he knew something was missing. It felt empty without a drum track and as much as he’d messed around on recording softwares to simulate a track, it just never felt right. They were artificial and meaningless, lacking the passion that this song deserves. 

“I can feel your breath.  
I can feel my death.  
I want to know you.  
I want to see.  
I want to say hello.”

As Tyler played on, Josh’s heart grew fuller and fuller. To see him in such an element of pure peace, especially after being so nervous, was astonishing and his heart ached for him. The lyrics were heartbreaking and inspiring and relatable all at once and Josh knew that he was never going to hear another song so powerful.

He had a drum beat playing in his head knowing exactly what the song needed and he itched to perfect it and show it to Tyler.

“So what’d you think?” 

The song ended with Tyler holding an anxious smile on his face as he looked to Josh for an answer but Josh just silently got up from his spot on the couch and walked up to Tyler. 

Tyler felt the warmth and weight from Josh's strong arms around him before he realized what he was doing. Trying to convey as much feeling as he could into their hug, Josh rubbed Tyler's back and squeezing him gently as a way to say that he heard him and he gets him and he's here for him. 

Tyler didn't realize how touch starved he was until he was leaning into Josh like his life depended on it. His body tingled where Josh's arms and chest touched him leaving him feeling safe and warm. It felt so good to have someone hold him like this, especially after displaying your heart in such a personal song. He didn't want to let go of Josh, happy to stay in him arms forever.

"It was so good, Tyler," Josh mumbled into Tyler's hair. "Thank you for showing me."

"Anytime," Tyler mumbled back.

As they pulled away from each other, they felt their friendship change. Shifting away from any uncertainty and shyness into full on trust and openness. And if they sat closer together and became more touchy with each other no one said anything and no one cared because that's just what their friendship was and that's what they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm nowhere near finished chapter 6 but I felt bad leaving this for so long   
> also sorry its a little shorter but hopefully all their time together made it okay :)  
> hope you liked it!!


End file.
